Sea Stories Page 1

Yes These Are True Stories
1. I'll never forget the time STGC Steven Romani told Goodridge to throw some old sonobouy boxes over the side. It was taking Goody some time to come back, so Romani went to find out what was taking so long, and there was Goody on the fantail punching holes in the boxes to try and get them to sink....they were styrofoam. HA! Oz
2. One night I watched as Doug Taylor decided to get some revenge on Spanky (Mark Hendrix). Spanky was constantly picking at Doug about this and that. Almost everyone knew Spanky was dangerous to wake up; the best way to wake him was to tug at his pillow while standing way back. Doug put shaving cream in his hand and tickled his nose. Spanky rubbed the shaving cream all in his beard and up his nose and a few seconds later exploded out his rack right in Doug's face and I think he slapped Doug one good time while screaming how he was going to kill him. ------ Sting
3. One of my favorite things to do onboard was to go up to the bullnose and enjoy a hot cup of messdecks coffee while watching the sun set. Then it was great to hang out in Sonar with the lights out and the weather deck door open. I remember I got a helo ride for painting HSL-36's (or was it 34) logo on the side of the LAMPS chopper. It was suppose to be a fifteen minute ride, but it turned into an hour. IT WAS AWESOME! LT. Braunstein (I think it was), was the pilot. What a decent guy he was! He gave me quite the ride that day. While I was on there I had to go to the bathroom BAD!! (number 1). I asked the airedale I was sitting beside (Charlie Sartain from GA.) where the head was. He started laughing and said "It's under the Co-pilot's seat." It was a "piss tube." MAN! Well, the pain got unbearable, and I HAD TO GO! So I had to strap on a gunbelt and crawl on my knees to the tube. As soon as I started "Unrep'n" with this tube Braunstein looked over his shoulder at me and immediately turned hard right putting us in a turn that had us hauling ass sideways!! Thank God for centrifugal force because I had a clear view of the beautiful blue sea with nothing between us but lots of air! What a ride! Ozzie
4. Once upon a time there was this Cowboy from Wyoming on board whom everyone had the most respect for. Why you ask: It was them god-awful farts that would clear every occupant of weapon division out of the berthing area. It has been 20 years and I still remember how bad they were. --- Sting
5. I remember Al Calhoun, Mike Doyle and I think it was Bill Sheffield, maybe STG3 Rob Suders, I don't know,...anyway, we all went to this restaurant in Rota, Spain. We sat at our table and throughout the meal, 1 by 1 we took our turn visiting the head. When it was my turn I went in to find NO toilets. Just a drain against the wall. There were these porcelain raised "feet" on the floor which I came to realize were suppose to be to stand on, then lean back against the wall to go "number 2." Anyway me being inquisitive and finding something unusual as these, I decided to stand on them facing the wall to urinate. As soon as I stepped on to them I lifted my head up and "WHAM!!",..my head smashed into the ceiling which was angled downward in front of me and was probably made out of concrete. It almost made me lose consciousness. After pulling myself together, I cleared the cobwebs and told myself "I'll never tell a soul about this!" I went back to the table and after some time went by, Al Calhoun looked at everybody and said "Hey, when you guys went in the head, did ya'll bump your heads on the ceiling?" We ALL busted up laughing!! We all did the SAME stupid thing!!! Oz
6. One of the last few nights we spent in Cuba, Al Calhoun, Mike Doyle and myself went to the Steakhouse to eat and to the patio bar afterwards like we always do. Al would slide the Juke Box out from the wall and turn the little knob and crank the volume way up. #00FFFFfoot's Train Train and Highway Song along with a little Molly Hatchet. We drank until last call and order 15 more Jack and cokes. After consuming the drinks we decided to walk back to the ship instead of the usual taxi. We were walking on a dark road when we came up on the ocean with a full moon shining off the water and a boat dock going out in to water with no boats attached. It was really beautiful. Nobody had to say anything, the clothes came off and we were all jumping off this boat dock into the water having the time of our lives. When the fun was over we got dressed and walked back to the ship. Walking up the ramp to get on board the Officer on Deck gave us funny looks but did not say much knowing that we were very drunk and better off below deck. We all went straight to our racks and crashed. The next morning we woke up we all bloody our sheets were bloody. Mike had holes in his legs where he had been bitten by a sea creature or something. We went back to the area where we had went for our late night swim and it had to be the nastiest water in all of Cuba, #00FFFF slimy filth with trash laying everywhere. ------Sting
7. I remember when OSSN John Stuff had OSSA Steve Fields edge the bumper of his car up closer and closer to a brick wall with John's foot between the wall and the bumper. Then after screaming to back up, he realized his threshold of pain wasn't strong enough, so he then layed on the ground and had Steve hit him as hard as he could on the foot with a 5-iron!! He got out of the cruise!!! Ozzie
8. I was a new TM3, real boot camp, and in love. We were scheduled to go on a 2-3 week "steamer" and I DID NOT want to leave my girl. Plus, being immature I guess you could say there were times when I HATED the Navy,...and yes, even the Blakely. So I made up my mind I wasn't going. I had my Seaman, Calvin Grant assist me in what would be a "self inflicted", but made to look like a real accident. So what I did was get up on the mezzanine ladder over the torpedo room and slide down landing directly on my knees. Sounds stupid, huh? Well I did it and it wasn't quite good enough. (I could still walk!) Dammit! So up I went again. Boom!! Grant was suppose to summon help. He said "Are you hurt yet?" NO! Up for a third time. Boom!! To make a long stupid story short, I did hurt my knees, but not enough to get out of the cruise. Just enough to make Grant roll around in the helo hanger laughing at me! OZ (ashamed!)
9. When we were in Barcelona I was standing Quarter Deck watch with Chief Cordele when this Marine came running from downtown toward the ship. He was dressed only in his underwear no shoes no identification and had missed his ship. Chief got him a blanket and sent him to the Ward Room. Man that had to be embarrassing. ---Sting
10. In Barcelona there is a mountain right at the coast that has an amusement park at the top. One night Al Calhoun, Boston Bob, J.D. Boyd and myself walked up the mountain to the top. We stopped along the way for refreshments. Boston Bob would never drink much beer with us. We ask him why and his exact words were "find me some Scotch and I will show you how to drink" so we did. At the top of the mountain you could look out over the Mediterranean Ocean and Barcelona. It was one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been. I was watching this Spanish band playing on a stage that was hanging over the side of the mountain. They were playing Elvis songs in Spanish and sounded pretty good. The rest of the gang was riding the Slick Track Go Cars and were wrecking each other on purpose. I watched as this attendant ejected them from the track. We really had a good time up there, riding the rides, drinking and looking at the scenery. We started back down the mountain and Boston Bob was just talking his head off, which is unusual for him. The grade was very steep so we had to keep the brakes on to keep from running. Boston Bob still just running that mouth ran right into TREE!!! He never saw it; an imprint of the tree was on his face. Al and J.D. were laughing so hard I thought they were going to roll down the mountain. I really don't think Boston Bob felt much until the next morning. ---Sting
11. I remember the band playing on the flight deck; sometimes while pulling into various ports including the Med cruise return to Charlietown. The band played "I'm Your Captain" (by Grand Funk?) as we pulled into Charleston at the conclusion of the Med. They were so good. They played in Naples as well. It was great! I wish we could reach Spanky, Rob, Tater and (I can't remember the other guitarist/singer. MM I believe). I remember the time I had to tell Spanky to have his crew on time for watch (this at 4AM while underway). He hit the fan. I thought I was dead meat. He didn't talk to me for a week if not longer. I'm sure he was missing his wife "seal meat" as he called her. I believe her name was Cecelia. They parted company from what I recall. Mike
12. Al Calhoun and myself decided to spend the weekend away from that god awful East Boston Shipyard. We went to a northern suburb town of Lynn and checked in to the Harbour House Hotel. Seemed like a nice hotel along the edge of the water, had a night club down stairs and a punk rock group was suppose to play that night. We went for a few beers down at the bar and watch the punk rockers warming up. I think it might have been the Romantics before they became famous. After leaving the bar Al and I walked up the street to Denny's for something to eat. After enjoying that delicious meal we starting walking back to the hotel. We were walking on a sidewalk beside a big parking lot when Al said look a gang fight. I do not know how he figured that out so fast because when I looked they were just getting out of their cars. Must have been 15 or 20 on each side with pipes, chains and god knows what else. Al said don't look and walk fast, I kept looking 3 guys had one down and were beating the hell out of him one with a chain and the other two kicking him. Fighting like that all over the parking lot. It was a terrible sight that I will never forget. I think we both knew that bullets might start flying at any moment because we started running and did not stop until we were in our room at the hotel. We stayed there until we left the next morning. The next time we decided to get away from East Boston we went to New Hampshire. ....Sting
13. One of the last torpedoes I fired, I painted my EX-wife's name on the afterbody with WHITE OUT. I figured that the salt water, combined with the speed of travel would wash the name off in time for recovery. NOPE! When we hauled it aboard, there stood gazing down at us from the flight deck was Tom Reynolds, XO, with a shit eating grin on his face. To my surprise, everything was cool with him about my graffiti. I guess I just wanted to make a statement 'cause those damned ASROCers used to paint stuff all over the rocket motors. I've got a pretty neat picture of "Cathy" coming out the tube. I think either TMSN Calvin Grant or Dave Fleenor took it. I'll post it on our page one day. Have a good one! Oz
14. Boston was not a kind place for our automobiles. Some of us shipped our vehicles via car haulers or ships I can't remember. What I do remember is damn near every one of them had some sort of damage. Scratches, broken windshields, blinker switches broken off. Bruce Jacobsen decided to drive his family up to Boston and his car was stolen first night in Boston from a Howard Johnson parking lot. People were rude and drove crazy in Boston. I took my car home after a few weeks and rode the subway the rest of my stay in Boston. Al Calhoun brought the biggest car to Boston; I think it was a 1976 Grand Prix. He was kidded a lot about that car. Gene Pochron called it the "Buck Wagon" others would call it a "Grand Prick". Mike Doyle brought his Honda Civic that went through a hailstorm from out west, dings all over that thing. He along with Al Calhoun, Richard Carrique and Danny Gibson had an accident in Callahan Tunnel on our way to work at rush hour. Creamed the wall of the tunnel after some local (of Italian persuasion) side swiped him. Anyone remember the names of the guys that got killed in a trip home to New York from Boston?... Sting.... Doyle
15. One of my favorite cruises onboard was the Persian Gulf Cruise. Wasn't it great transitting the Suez Canal? I wish I had a video of it. I remember waiting to go through while we sat in Port Said, and the Muslim chanting that we heard coming from the town. I can still smell the air. I thought it was spectacular seeing all the ships awaiting their turn to go through when we entered the Red Sea. I thought it was awesome to be able to lay up on Steel Beach every day we were there. I really enjoyed the topside picnics on Sundays. Another part of that cruise I LOVED was Mombasa. I had never seen sand on beaches' so white. Then the Shellback initiation! That was a great day! I couldn't imagine being one of the few people onboard that chose not to participate. That was one of a sailors many dreams to become a Shellback. What a GREAT and SUPER feeling it was to finally take a shower at the end of many, many hours of horrible stinking garbage we had to waller in, not to mention kissing Rueben Miller on that fat and slimy belly of his. I wouldn't of changed a thing,...'cept maybe, I would've loved to have won the beauty contest the night before!! Ozzie
16.For those of you that don't remember or didn't make the GITMO trip, we were down playing war games and the Navy had a remote control target (20ft fiberglass boat with twin 350 Chevy engines) for gun practice. I seem to remember that the USS Dewey had some big headed Admiral (Sorry Norm) that hogged the thing and sure as shit, they hit it and bagged up the remote controls. Then he gave us the okay to sink it, as he had to be someplace else all of a sudden. We took a few shots at it, and I remember Luppy switched the gun mount to local control and hit it. The boat started to take on water and we went in to take a closer look. It was half filled (or empty) with water, but it didn't look like it was going to sink. Then someone had the idea to use our hand held grenade guns (help me out here Norm) to put a few more holes in it. Half the ship was up on the flight deck to watch this fire drill. It was kind of like pissing on a forest fire. You couldn't see any damage from the grenades at all. They wasted a few thousand dollars and were just about to give up when, Mike Doyle grab his chest and fell to his knees!, okay, I added the part about falling to his knees, he had got hit with a piece of sharp metal from one of the grenades. He had a good dent, but not enough to draw blood. That was just one of many metals Mike got while serving. They gave up on putting holes in the boat and tried to fill it with water from our wake. After a few non-productive passes, a command decision was made "Fuck It" (good call Norm) and we left the thing half full (or empty) of water and headed back to port. The boat was full of foam just like the ones you see cut in half in all the fishing books! However, I think I had the chance to see it again a few years later while I was on vacation. Some Jamaicans were giving para-sailing rides with it. Yeah man! ..... Jake
17. My favorite memories of Gitmo were the golf outings. The desert with holes and flags was not known for golf but for four wheeling. Golf carts that is. We'd get as many as they had and have a big time chasing everything except golf shots. Races down hill, cuttin corners on two wheels, you name it we did it. As I recall we ran out of gas (electricity?) a few times as well and would just double, triple up on someone elses cart to finish out the round. Then explain to the attendant at the shack in broken pig Spanish "Golfo carto no go no mo. Es pieceo shitto." ... Doyle
18. This story might seem a little inhumane, but we were trained killing machines you know. J.D. Boyd and me were fishing on the main deck at pier Poppa on the Cooper River catching catfish. Every time we would throw our line out the seagulls would dive trying to get the bait. So we decided to go gull fishing, we put loaf bread on the hook and threw it out. The seagulls fought for it and finally one would get hooked and he would take off flying. When he would get way up in the air we would set the hook and he would dive straight for the water making a big splash!! We would reel them in and Doug Taylor who had been watching came with a can of red spray paint and paints a red stripe down the seagull and we would let it go. We caught about eight and sprayed them all. One of the seagulls was over the front of the USS Trippe when we set the hook and he dove straight into the deck and got tangled up. J.D. called over and asks to speak with the messenger on watch, Joe asks him to go up and untangle the bird for us and he did. We looked for them seagulls every time we got underway, we never did see one with a red stripe down the middle. ...Sting
19. I believe that we were known as Kelly's Heroes following the Coke can incident. Do you remember the gathering in Sonar Control that evening? He was whining about how we had ruined his career and actually started the lip quiver and shaky voice thing. Touching stuff. ....Doyle
20.Leo P. McNulty, so hopefully Leo, this'll put a big grin on your face. We were in the Caribbean, and we had the only "swim-call" I ever saw on the Blakely. Anyway, we were all jumping off the fantail and Ol' Leo decided to dive head first. Well, I don't know for the life of me why he did this, but he landed FLAT on his stomach and nuts!! It was beautiful Man!! I laughed my ass off!! I tell ya, one thing about those damned swim calls,..once you climb that cargo net getting back up on the ship, you don't really care about doing it again! Remember Leo?? Oz

 
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